Thursday, September 6, 2012

Tribute to the Long Lost Locks

This blog is dedicated to my children who felt the need to inform me of the situation. They did so gingerly, too. Even posting on my wall.

Once every couple years, something knocks me through a loop and saddens me. The death of Ronald Reagan made me mourn for weeks, Charlton Heston’s death, even 5 years later is still real to me, one of my husbands left me – as painful as that was, it passed. But … this … this … I’m still not sure I’ll recover.

Professional Wrestler Triple H, my future 4th ex husband, cut off his long hair. WHAT? He didn’t just cut it, he took a pair of clippers and shaved it.

I am shocked and devastated by this. You need to understand as a demented writer, this man, in his image graced my writing room wall. I envisioned him as Mick Owens in The Flu as I painstakingly wrote each passage.

I personally perfected his ring entrance, including the ‘flip my hair and spit out water thing’. Although the people in my house weren’t amused by that.

“Mom, come on, you’re old. You don’t flip your hair and spit.”

Hating to admit it, the age thing was probably the reason I got dizzy and lost my balance when I flipped my hair..

Those who know me, know I am obsessed with this wrestler and have been for a decade. I mourned when he ripped his quad and was out for nine months.

This is going to take some time. Let me take a moment to reflect.


I keep telling myself maybe he did it for Locks of Love, or to help his friend Shawn Michaels embrace the baldness. Shawn sadly is going bald and now has resorted to that swopping thing with his hair.

Ironically it came on the heels of my getting old blog. Perhaps he read it and was inspired to cut his hair in the wake of his approaching 50th birthday. I just hope that Miley Cyrus didn’t inspire him. Maybe she did. Who knows.

But they’re gone. And this blog is my memorial to this long hair.

Yes, I know the hair isn’t everything. But when the image of the man and what he looks like is a focal point and inspiration to writing, it’s… it’s character killing.

I feel as if I lost a character. Mick. Mick. Mick. Sigh.

Anyhow, here’s is my tribute to his hair. 

Sung to the tune of Elton John’s ‘Goodbye Yellow Brick Road’

When are you gonna grow back
When are you going to flow
Should have stayed the course with your current look now
Should have left those damn clippers alone

Now you look like a big thug
I hope that you wife is enthralled
Many fans, including yours truly
Is nothing but really appalled.

So Goodbye Yellow long locks
Hair that you used to flip
You can’t throw it back from your face now
It will lose the impact when you spit
Back to the old drawing board
Looking like an every day guy
So I finally discovered my secret love
Of you it was your yellow long lo-ah-ocks!

Ok, I’ll stop. Demented enough?

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