The Pitfalls of Being a (armchair) Masterchef Contestant

Undoubtedly, you have heard of an armchair quarterback. I have now invented a new one, armchair, MasterChef contestant.

Like millions of others, maybe not that high, I became obsessed via binge watching the television show MasterChef. I had heard of it, but never watched it. After watching a TV show called Pressure Cooker, I found my love of cooking shows and movies and naturally gravitated to Masterchef. where have I been the last 14 years or so. Watching it, I hated Joe the judge and I loved Joe, in the same breath. I found myself rooting and cheering some contestants while begging for others to serve raw chicken. Early on the cooks were okay but as the seasons moved on they got better and we were privileged to Gordon Ramsey master classes. Some seasons I disliked because it was obvious who they favorited, but overall, it’s fantastic.

For the record, I can’t get into Masterchef Junior, the judges are way too nice.

Anyhow while watching the show I suddenly found myself loving to cook more, trying new things and techniques.

I’ve always been a good cook. Masterchef contestant level? No. I was a Mom cook and Nana cook. Whipping up comfort foods, like Mac n cheese, goulash, sloppy joes and a killer spaghetti sauce I learned from my grandmother.

But as the seasons rolled on and the contestants got better, so did I. Suddenly I was making a perfectly medium rare filet mignon,  my own pot stickers, I could poach a lobster, and do my own pasta. (Albeit I have a pasta machine now). Heck I made a rack of lamb with red wine reduction. Fondant potatoes are once a week. Before Masterchef I didn’t have a clue what a fondant potato was.

Every day, I kid you not, was a new cooking experience. I went from having three or four spices to an entire rack and a cabinet with Asian sauces and Indian spices I never would have thought to buy let alone know how to use. I do.

My fresh drunken noodles … the bomb.

My phone camera roll went from pictures of kids to mainly food I created (Obviously by this blog).

I was serving myself and granddaughter restaurant quality meals. I stopped getting take out because I wanted fresh. Not a bad thing right? I slowly became a food snob.

But something happened, something horrible.

While taking the path to great cooking I lost my knack for making tasty comfort foods. Or did I?

I learned this when I decided to make Mac n cheese. It didn’t taste right, gummy. The cheese was weird. I didn’t do anything different. Had to be a fluke. Then the confirmation came when I wanted Sloppy Joe’s. Simple right? No. They were horrible. Meat was hard, the sauce too sweet. One bite and I threw it out. Who fails at making Sloppy Joes. This lady here.

Ug! What happened to me? Did I become a horrible Mom cook or did I just get used to elevated style meals. I don’t even want to try a pot roast. Thankfully my sauce is still super killer.

Even though I lost my touch or rather palate for normal foods, I anxiously await season 13. Let the cooking neuroticism begin.

Sigh.

I really wanted a Sloppy Joe

The Great Bacon Off Test

It’s all about the bacon. You would think. In an unpopular opinion, probably even offensive to people, I’m not overly crazy about bacon. I think it goes back to my youth when we were “lucky” to get two pieces of bacon and it was hard to tell upon looking if it was even cooked. My parents loved their bacon fatty and limp. Yeah. Um no. But I do enjoy a bacon sandwich or a piece on a burger.

Which brings me to my hatred of cooking bacon. The grease, sizzle and snap of oil that burns your skin when it flies from the pan. The greatest invention to me was precooked bacon you out in the microwave or flash fry.

There are so many brands. I didn’t think they were too different until my granddaughter, Penny asked me for magical bacon (that’s what I call it because it’s done fast like magic). I only had two strips of one brand and made two strips of another. She refused to eat the second type because it was different.

Was it.? So I decided to take it to task and invite two of my grandkids over for a bacon off.  Lily is five, Aiden is 14.

They didn’t know which was which. Plates simply number one through five. I asked them to score 1 – 10 and tell me what they liked or didn’t.

I cooked the bacon according to the package instructions and both kids knew this.

Here is an image before and after. I apologize because the kids dug into bacon 2 and 3 before I could take the photo.

Here are the results I quote their own words. (Video of their final results at the end)

Bacon One – Sugardale

 

Lily: Score 3.

“Not impressed, said it was too hard and burnt, but the flavor was okay.”

Aiden: Score 7

“Love this bacon, can I have the rest?”

SCORE TOTAL: 10/20 

Bacon Two – Oscar Myer

Lily: Score 8

“Texture is great and it tastes good and bacony.”

Aiden: Score 5

“Texture is good, tastes is a little off and is greasy.”

 SCORE TOTAL: 13/20

 

Bacon Three – Trader Joe’s

 

Lily: Score 6

“Not bad tasting. I like the texture, the instructions don’t make it hard”

Aiden: Score 4

“It has the best texture but the smoke flavor stays with you too much.”

SCORE TOTAL: 10/20

 

Bacon Four – Hormel

 

Lily: Score 5

“Flavor is great. I kinda like the texture. Needs to be softer.” (Man my parents would have loved this girl.

Aiden: Score 4

“Goes kinda haywire in your mouth. Nah.”

SCORE TOTAL: 11/10

 

Bacon Five – Store Brand Giant Eagle

Lily: Score 9“I love this. It’s soft but crispy, tiny and melts in your mouth. My favorite,”

Aiden: Score 3

“No, no. What happened to it. It’s too thin and dry.”

SCORE TOTAL: 12/20

 

Finally Now because the original inspiration (Penny) was under the weather and couldn’t make it, I carefully wrapped each sample and marked them and sent them over.

She wasn’t in the mood so my son and son in law took the test and both decided bacon 2 was the best.

After adding the scores from Aiden and Lily, bacon 2 was the highest

Me? I agree with Lily and prefer the broke  and tiny tasty store brand. 

Which do you prefer if you buy precooked bacon. Leave a comment and let me know. And enjoy the quick video testimonies!