Let them be little ... just a bit more

My grandson is cuddled in my bed, sleeping finally after being fussy. But I don’t dread a restless night. Not with him, not with any of my grandchildren. It’s odd, because as you become a grandparent, suddenly you get a different view of things. You don’t mind getting woke up after only a few hours sleep, that trip to McDonald’s isn’t a problem, and you will gladly walk the floor with them, even if it means they throw up on you. Who cares? It’s different.

Which is probably why I have the outlook that has spawned this blog.

Before I continue …. let’s establish, this isn’t aimed toward full time, working moms and dads who need daycare of have no choice. This is my opinion for those who have options and make the choice.

Preschool at 3. I have a problem with it.

My daughter Ali, brought up that she was going to send Violet to preschool at 3. Why?

She retorted, “Mom, that’s what they do now. So the kids can adjust and be smart.”

           

Really, because I’m pretty sure, her pediatrician is smart and I’m willing to bet he didn’t start school at 3. Hell, Einstein didn’t even go to Kindergarten.

           

“Mom, if I don’t send her at 3, she’ll be behind.”

           

“No, she won’t.”

           

My grandson won’t go until he’s four. What will he not know?  That the other kids do. He knows colors, he knows numbers and alphabet on sight. He can work a kindle, ipad, iphone, xbox, and Atari, probably better than his peers.

           

I make him work the bluray for me.

           

Yep, I’m teaching him words to read … on his own time. Not mine.

           

School at 3. It is far too young, in my opinion for a child, who will go to school for at least 16 more years. When does it stop?  When I was young there really wasn’t preschool and kindergarten was an option. Yeah, it was. When my oldest son was 4, preschool was an option and really not a lot of kids went. All day kindergarten was a rarity.

           

Why? Society deemed them too young to be away from home.

           

What changed? Are 3 year old suddenly more mature. No.  We just want them to be. Well, guess what, they aren’t. They are babies. Toddlers.

They will have plenty of structured education. Allow them to be children. To sleep when they want, play when they want and enjoy not being in school. Learn when they feel like learning.

           

3 is too young. My, God, let them be babies.

I look at my grandson.

He’s 3. And you know what? He’s really still a baby, a toddler. He hasn’t even surpassed being called a toddler, yet there are his peers, donning backpacks and going to school.

Think about that for a second, Sending a toddler to school.

           

I realize that every parent wants their child to be educated, but those teachers who teach them … didn’t go to school at 3. The doctors who care for them, were still drinking sippy cups.

Granted my grandson goes to therapy for speech, so he has structure and he complains. He actually doesn’t want to go at times.

In my opinion, if your child is able to be home and be a child, then let him. Teach him at home. We as a society are forcing children to be older and more mature. This makes me wonder, how much creativity will be lost? How much imagination will they not acquire because they are being structured too early? Told what to draw, what to read, how to behave.

At 3 a child should be free to draw where his imagination takes him, play with the toys he chooses and pretend all he wants. Not be conformed. If we to teach them ABC’s and they walk away. Ok, that’s cool. They’re 3!

Then there’s the health issue. How many more germs are they exposed to? Ask any mom who has to put her child in daycare, how often her child gets sick.

And the biggie …

They send out lice letters in preschool, yeah, lice letters, I said it. Itching yet? 3 year olds don’t comprehend not to touch heads or hair. Who the hell wants to deal with a 3 year old with lice?

Just thought I’d rant a bit about the subject. I realize many will disagree with me. But those who do? Did you go to school at 3?

Tribute to the Long Lost Locks

This blog is dedicated to my children who felt the need to inform me of the situation. They did so gingerly, too. Even posting on my wall.

Once every couple years, something knocks me through a loop and saddens me. The death of Ronald Reagan made me mourn for weeks, Charlton Heston’s death, even 5 years later is still real to me, one of my husbands left me – as painful as that was, it passed. But … this … this … I’m still not sure I’ll recover.

Professional Wrestler Triple H, my future 4^th ex husband, cut off his long hair. WHAT? He didn’t just cut it, he took a pair of clippers and shaved it.

I am shocked and devastated by this. You need to understand as a demented writer, this man, in his image graced my writing room wall. I envisioned him as Mick Owens in The Flu as I painstakingly wrote each passage.

I personally perfected his ring entrance, including the ‘flip my hair and spit out water thing’. Although the people in my house weren’t amused by that.

“Mom, come on, you’re old. You don’t flip your hair and spit.”

Hating to admit it, the age thing was probably the reason I got dizzy and lost my balance when I flipped my hair..

Those who know me, know I am obsessed with this wrestler and have been for a decade. I mourned when he ripped his quad and was out for nine months.

This is going to take some time. Let me take a moment to reflect.

Ok.

I keep telling myself maybe he did it for Locks of Love, or to help his friend Shawn Michaels embrace the baldness. Shawn sadly is going bald and now has resorted to that swopping thing with his hair.

Ironically it came on the heels of my getting old blog. Perhaps he read it and was inspired to cut his hair in the wake of his approaching 50^th birthday. I just hope that Miley Cyrus didn’t inspire him. Maybe she did. Who knows.

But they’re gone. And this blog is my memorial to this long hair.

Yes, I know the hair isn’t everything. But when the image of the man and what he looks like is a focal point and inspiration to writing, it’s… it’s character killing.

I feel as if I lost a character. Mick. Mick. Mick. Sigh.

Anyhow, here’s is my tribute to his hair. 

Sung to the tune of Elton John’s ‘Goodbye Yellow Brick Road’

When are you gonna grow back

When are you going to flow

Should have stayed the course with your current look now

Should have left those damn clippers alone

Now you look like a big thug

I hope that you wife is enthralled

Many fans, including yours truly

Is nothing but really appalled.

So Goodbye Yellow long locks

Hair that you used to flip

You can’t throw it back from your face now

It will lose the impact when you spit

Back to the old drawing board

Looking like an every day guy

So I finally discovered my secret love

Of you it was your yellow long lo-ah-ocks!

Ok, I’ll stop. Demented enough?

40 is NOT the new 30. It's still 40.

Lately there has been a rash of articles how 40 is the new 30. Which I guess means 45 is the new 35. I’m really not able to figure this one out, because no matter how you look at it you are still 40.

At forty I didn’t go to the DMV and the lady there tell me that I was in luck, my license would now reflect that I was thirty. Some weird new thing where the clock sets back. Daylight savings time for age.

The basis for the articles state that we exercise more and look younger than our previous generations. I don’t think I look any younger than my mother did at my age. I look better than my grandmother, but that’s because all she had was Ponds Cold cream and lard to slap on her face.

How can they say most people in their forties look in their thirties? Wouldn’t that just be the new look of forty? If I have more energy in my forties that’s because I’m not working along with raising school age kids who have activities after activates.

I don’t know about you, but seemingly with the strike of my fortieth birthday and the fast passing sequential years, suddenly..

• My knees hurt
• My back ached when I slept wrong (And even when I didn’t)
• The skin on my legs is a bit thinner
• Actors in their twenties were no longer hot, they were cute kids.
• I lost the ability to see small print.
• Red was remarkably a better shade of lipstick for me.

I don’t recall experiencing any of those in my 30’s.

They say diet and exercise will help you feel young.  “Feel” being the operative word. Honestly, take a look at skinny woman that is 50. She looks … 50. Add some weight to her, you take at least ten years off of her face. Bottom line, to feel young, diet and exercise, to look young, eat a Twinkie. I’ll take the Twinkie please, I’m too old to be obsessed with my body. It eventually will all hang anyhow, no matter what I do. For my body, I’ll stick with the chair exercises I used to teach my seniors at the retirement home and focus more on exercising my mind, thank you. I’ll need that more at sixty-five than tight skin under my biceps that doesn’t flap.

If 50 is the new 40 and 40 is the new 30, does that make 30 the new 20? When do we age? If we’re really the new 40 when we’re 50, then we’re actually 30 because 40 is the new 30, which makes us really 20?

UG! Too confusing.

I don’t know about you, but I am embracing the aging process.

In your forties and beyond, you are an adult. There’s a level of respect that comes from people. I can look at a magazine in the store without someone telling me to buy it or put it down. I can take the fast moving ‘I’m way over 21 and don’t need to be carded’ line into the casino.

I look forward to the days when Polyester is my fabric of choice and you know what, I can see how that happens. I hate tight clothes and already hate restrictive clothing.

I can’t wait until I can wear bright colors, mix matched patterns, clothing from decades earlier and get away with that. Wait, I already do. Ha.

My plan, you know is to achieve the age where I embarrass my grown children by being that crazy old lady who always has a drink in her hand, toilet paper attached to the back of my pants and screams out, “Frank!” for no reason.

I’m absolutely fine if the ’40 is the new 30’ rule doesn’t apply to me.  Growing old is a part of life. We don’t have to like it, we do however have no choice but to accept it.

Really? Time to Grow up. Disrespect is NOT funny or cool

So, maybe I’m grouchy because it’s four in the morning. I want to work on my novel but the freaking jackhammer and truck ripping the asphalt outside my house makes concentrating impossible. However it is fueling a good blog rage.

Since the pilgrims landed in this fine country, people have disagreed on the way things should go, who should lead, and so forth. You know what, that’s absolutely fine. That’s what makes this country great. We can disagree, speak out, be heard … sometimes not.

However, just because our first amendment affords us the right to publically post and speak our minds, is it right to do so with such disrespect.

Let’s establish something here. You can DISagree. show DISmay, express DISpleasure, and do so effectively without disrespect.

It is immature, pointless, mean, and not funny. To me it is nothing but people bashing and bullying through words.

Those who do so, in my opinion, purely show their ignorance in making an intelligent argument and/or point. It’s just like saying something sucks. For example, saying “I hate that movie it sucked” tells me nothing. Just like hate posts.

The fuel, as many of you can guess is Clint Eastwood’s speech at the RNC.

It’s Clint Eastwood. He is a Hollywood legend, icon and more importantly an 80+ year old man. Some of the mean stuff circulating is unforgiveable. Show some respect.

And sadly, most of it is from the young. No, wait, 90% of what I found on Facebook (Public posts) are from young people. Sure, those who are older expressed their confusion, dismay and dislike over what Clint said and how he said it, but they did so without being mean.

His presentation at times, when he was trying to be funny, was a little confusing. But he expressed his thoughts. He made some good points and if you missed it, or didn’t listen, you can read the entire thing right here: Read Clint’s Speech.

I realize these are young people expressing their outrage over a senior citizen expressing his views. Their outrage is fueled by the fact that he is speaking for the opposition.

But they aren’t bashing his views or what he said, they are bashing his age and how he presented it. How sad it is as a society that so many of our ‘supposedly’ open minded and educated youth, can’t find a better way to express themselves other than just being mean.

Think I’m overreacting? Think I am being ‘stuffy’. Here are the first five negative posts I came across out of 10, that popped up in my public post search. The first five. A couple of them lack substance. READ THEM. (I put X’s in the F words, sorry)

Clint Eastwood was a good choice for the Republican National Committee. He represents the old dying ideals and ass backwards thinking that got the country into the mess in the fXXXng first place. The pure senility and insanity it takes to actually be a republican, and a crotchety old white man afraid of change.

He was just acting like Ronald Ray-gun in the final years of his presidency. Talking to a chair and mumbling something about star wars.

ill still watch his movies he's just a old fart shitting in his depend's

So sick of hearing the Republicans on television I'm not voting Republican I just hate it and I liked Eastwood until now will not pay to see more of his movies I'm going to vote for are black president what about you (And then she 'liked' her own post)

--And the Worst--

MAKE MY DAY. DIE TOMORROW NIGHT, PUNK. DIRTY HARRY MOTHERFXXXXR. YOU ARE IN LATE STAGE DEMENTIA. TIME TO HANG UP YOUR BALLS AND JOIN THE DUKE AND HESTON.

Really?

This is not what we as Americans represent, and I am curious to see if there are this many negative and mean remarks after the DNC.

Clint Eastwood or not, this is still a senior citizen who, my God, walked on stage, spoke standing up, spoke coherently for his age and made logical points. Go to a nursing home, go on, visit the memory Impaired ward, see men and women his age. Go on.  He is remarkable.

Would these same people who bashed him think it was okay for someone to say the same thing about their grandmother/grandfather/parent. Would they even care? If their grandfather’s or great grandfathers read those words about Clint, they’d probably kick their butts. I know my father would unload on my kids if they posted like that.

If you don’t like what is said, say why. If you don’t like someone, say why. But please, do so without hurt.

You can get your point across without being mean. I feel sorry for all the haters, there is just so much more to life.

Stepping from my soapbox now.

Movie Review - 2016: Obama's America

Those in the far right wishing to throw a tea party for an all out Anti-Obama bashing film will be sorely disappointed. Those on the far left who want to scream ‘outrage’ and throw a tantrum over biased political rhetoric ... will also be sorely disappointed.

But those in the middle, even if they teeter more to an extreme, will find a solid debate film in the new documentary, 2016: Obama’s America.

A highs and lows documentary that is filled with post movie going conversation and activities. Yes, activities. If you are open minded and middle, you will find yourself on the internet, researching and fact checking a lot of what you heard and saw in the documentary.

The documentary is presented by conservative, Dinesh D'Souza, Author of ‘The Roots of Obama’s Rage’. It’s not coincidental that it was released so close to election as a means to inform and influence voters. Just as the release of Michael Moore’s Fahrenheit 9/11 wasn’t coincidental.

That being said. The documentary is fact and theory. It is broken into primarily five sections: The author, Obama’s life, education in anti colonization, Obama’s biological father, and the combining of facts and actions to substantiate the presented theory as possible reality in 2016.

During the 87 minutes, the documentary uses Obama’s own words via his own book, Dreams of my Father, to convey his life. It’s factually stated and even drums up sympathy for the screwed up childhood of our president. By examining the book, the documentary determines that Obama has an idol worship for his estranged father. And by having this ‘worship’ also has his father’s anti colonization ideals. In my opinion, if our president has anti America, anti colonization ideals they stem from his mother. She spoon fed glorification of his father into his mind. She also had some sort of weird obsession with being oppressed. She moved with Obama to the slums of Indonesia with her second husband and when the second husband worked them out of the slums to a better life. she rebelled and sent Obama to the grandparents.

Setting aside the anti colonization connection and theory, the documentary presents an in-depth look at Obama’s father.  It also has some cool interviews. Although some of the interviews seemed ‘led’ and ridiculous (Like the one with Obama’s mother’s friend), most of the interviewees, were sincere.

I was educated about Hawaii and had no idea they still rebel about being a state. There were things that Obama had done during his first term that I was unaware of. Simple fact checking will prove what is surprisingly true and what was a truth being stretched.

In the words of my daughter, “Nothing is scarier than the thought of a second term president and what he will do’. Dinesh aimed to show that, and that’s the only portion of the film that I believed failed.

The movie is billed as: The documentary is a conservative critique of what the country would look like four years from now if President Barack Obama is re-elected.

But so much of the movie was spent informing that the entire point of the movie was crammed into the final 3 minutes. The end just seemed a little rushed and Scooby doo. IE: Here’s the bad guy, this is what he did and why. In fact, very little was said about how the America would be in 2016. Maybe I missed it. 

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed it. I was informed and entertained. For 16.75 (I had to get popcorn) I received an education not only on our president’s younger life and family, but other issues as well. I was given ‘wow’ moments as well as ‘Ah, come on!’ ones. I laughed out loud at intended humor and walked out of the movie pleased. 

If you see it, agree or disagree on what was presented, do yourself a favor and fact check.

So you want to leave a bad review?

Okay let’s face it, most people, and I stress ‘most’ don’t want to be negative, most don’t want to leave a negative review, but there are times when it is a must.

I have spoken to many readers who have repeatedly told me that when they read negative reviews, there are certain things that they gloss over and things that make them dismiss the bad review all together.

As an Indy author, I have received my share of negative reviews.  I also have read, via other Indy authors, a load of negatives. When I read reviews for potential purchase, I pay as much attention to the bad as I do the good. I want to know why people didn’t like it and is there merit in what they are saying.

First, I have stopped reading my own reviews. They aren’t for the author they are for the reader. My email is readily visible to anyone who wants to tell me bad or good. Unless I’m directed to take a peek at a good review, I don’t go there. Don’t get me wrong, I would love to swim in the glory of praise, but I hate the fact that I beat myself up over a bad review. Even if it doesn’t have merit.

There’s that word again, merit. Merit and intention.

I used to write an abundance of reviews years ago under a pseudonym, I admit, most were great reviews, But I wrote one bad review of World War Z. I didn’t like it. My opinion, the first part kicked butt, the second part, in my opinion was drab and slow. So I gave it 3 stars. And for that, I was slammed with 27 comments telling me I was an idiot. I took down the review and stopped reviewing. Why? I should have been able to express my dislike of a book.

Not everyone is going to like every book. Period. That is a good thing. There needs to be balance. Every book once it gets more than ten 5 star reviews, no matter how stinging, has to have a negative review in there because no one will take the positives serious, every reader knows, not everyone like the same book.

One of my novels has just as many 1 and 2 stars as it does 5 stars. Which tells me, as a reader, people love it or hate it.

Hate is a strong word. Many newbie reviewers feel the need to be ultra negative when writing a review, not realizing, a good reader will scoff at the negativity and founded or not, assume the reviewer is another author with a chip on his/her shoulder.

Which, by the way, happens. I won’t mention names, but I received an email from an author apologizing for leaving a nasty review of my book. They admitted they purchased and returned it without reading, just to be a verified review. One star, slamming me for the sheer purpose of knocking down my rank. Karma got them and they felt guilty. Guess what, that one review killed sales and even with its  eventual removal by the reviewer, the book never recovered.

When you’re famous and popular, bad reviews don’t harm sales. When you’re an Indy, one can be a death sentence. Not because of what it says, but because it brings down the overall star rating.

A well written bad review can be as helpful as a well written good review. It halts those nasty things called refunds. It allows the potential reader to see a balance of good and bad. It really does aid in helping the reader make up their mind. If the bad review is well written. A good reviewer leaving a bad review will actually do it so well, it leaves the potential reader open to making their own decision.

So here are my tips for anyone who is faced with the daunting task of having to write a bad review and for anyone who wants tips on how to sift through them.

--Who is the review intended for? If it is for potential buyers, then aim for them. If it is for the author, send them an email or facebook. You can bet that you’ll find contact information for them somewhere.

--Don’t get personal in your review. Amazon will take it right down.

--Be specific on why you didn’t like the book without giving away important plot points. Focus on story structure, story value, plot, character development and pacing. All of these are helpful to the potential reader. Expand on these.

--Don’t be vague.

--Don’t use fake sounding reviewer names and for sure don’t let the one star review be your only review. It’ll look like a torpedo. If you are truly a reader, then surely you can review a couple more and post them all at once.

--Is it worth one star? One star tells people the book is trash. If you liked some of it, and it has some positives, is it all that different to leave 2 stars?

-- Watch how much you ramble about grammar. If it is so riddled with grammar errors, surely they would be present in the sample. No sample is cleaned up that much, because authors don’t know what Amazon samples. People will question why you didn’t see it in the first place. Simply mention the manuscript can use an editor or  red pen and that it has issues that distract.

--Don’t respond to attacks. It’s a sad thing that we cannot express our dismay without risking backlash. Even if you were having a bad day, even if you wrote an evil review, you are expressing an opinion. Leave it be, don’t intimidated if people slam you.

Finally … my list of overused bad review terms.

1. This book sucks – really, in your vast literary adventures you couldn’t find a better adjective?

2. Don’t buy this book – It is understood you are trying to stop readers from making an error.

3. I wanted to like this book – Of course, you did.

4.  I wanted to throw my Kindle – That is really a strong statement that says a lot for anger issues.

Remember only 1% of book buyers leave reviews on Indy Books. Whatever review you write, good or bad, make it strong, make it have a point, let the reader know ‘why’ you felt as you did. And more importantly, if you take time to review a book, on behalf of all authors, thank you for doing that. You’re in the 1%. Bet you wished you had that luck on the lottery.

Just one more then I'll stop ... maybe

It's election year and I take you back to October 1, 2004. I'm thinking about maybe posting a blog or two that talked about the antics (Funny) of the post divorce guy I dated. He was known simply as W.

And here's the short October 2004 blog

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The Debates ....

Now, who would have guessed I would blog about the debates? Just about anyone who knows me.

I will give my fair and honest opinion. I was a little upset that George didn't do better. Kerry was well rehearsed, and George seemed a tad annoyed. which is understandable. My inside source told me that Kerry kept text messaging George before the debate, with messages such as

You are gonna lose

My hair is better

Jim Lear is my gay lover

Dick Cheney is having sex with your wife right now

My wife wants to sleep with you

Now come on, those are distressing text messages for anyone to get. The torment that Kerry was trying to pull, the mental torture. How low can one stoop.

While on the other hand, I also heard through my source that GW was trying to be cordial. By:

Sending Kerry Good luck flowers

Complimenting Kerry's hair

Telling Kerry, "I hear you were in Vietnam"

And even saying, Theresa was a sexy mama.

To no avail, Kerry would have bought it all until the Theresa remark. It is even said that when they shook hands, George told Kerry, "Good Luck, John."

To which Kerry replied, "You're going down, ass wipe."

Come on. Is that fair? These are things behind the scenes,