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A funny thing happened on the way to Starbucks with my daughter … my hair fell out.

Okay, so it wasn’t that dramatic as if every hair on my hair dropped off. But it was jarring.

I was chatting to her about how my scalp has been itchy and my hair wasn’t normal. My friend Michelle was coming over after Starbucks to trim my pixie, and when I ran my fingers through my hair … poof. It was a like a freaking cloud of hair exploded from my head, got caught in the wind of the air conditioning and floated around like a cloud.

Thirty minutes beforehand I showered and washed my hair, I didn’t see any hair, but my daughter sheepishly told me, after a whoa,  ‘yeah, ma, it’s thinned out in the back.’

Michelle did a good job, but when she was leaving my house she told me to call her any time and she’ll be over with the clippers. She also did a really nice job shaping, thinning and trimming my hat wig.

My hair has thinned out even more tonight than it was this afternoon. I made sure I wore a hat while cooking.

I don’t know why this is bothering me so much. My hair hasn’t been a part of what defines me in a long time. I knew this could happen, I am just shocked that it did. And admittedly a little sad.

Everyone in that support group said those who lost their hair did so the week before the next treatment. Yep. Right on schedule.

They said some low percentage loses their hair on this. What I think they left out was the remaining percentage loses volume and goes thin. Having to buzz cut.

So this time next week I’ll be rocking the Eleven from Stranger Things look.

The pic posted is of the cut Michelle gave me today.

I have lots of beautiful scarves and hats. Maybe with this insurance I’ll go get some new glasses

A huge part of me feels really bad for my family that they have to see me without hair. That I’ll look weak. It’s bad enough they know I have cancer, now they have to see the physical signs. I dread walking in the stores and people staring.

My daughter asked, “Do you stare at people that look like they have cancer.”

“No,” I told her. “But I stare at the people who stare at them.”

I made myself a painkiller this afternoon and vegged to a movie, ‘Cold Storage’ I highly recommend it.

Tonight I’ll write and focus on how I can do better with eating in the afternoon. I can’t eat a lot and when I try, I get stuffed and sick.

I feel like I am on Ozempic or whatever that thing is called.