Open and Public

 

My grandson just turned seventeen, he’s my oldest. I was young when I learned I was going to be a grandmother, but he came at a time in my life when I needed hope. I always said he saved me. He lives with me and is a tremendous gift. He drives me nuts and argues with me, but he saved my life once and I have no doubt, holding on to him will save me again.

I was talking to him about my Negan picture battling the cancer cells and I mentioned making a picture of having the Avengers do the same. Create pictures to give me encouragement.  He just looked at me and was like, “Why?”.

He said, “Nana, your heroes are in Beginnings. They pulled you through your writing, why not have them be your heroes pulling you through this.”

He is right. I love and live Beginnings.

Frank is my hero. So I decided, even though it’s AI, to use my Beginnings characters to create images of them being there for me.

And with his words I am inspired. I want to finish this current book I am writing and get back to Beginnings. I love being there, writing it, it is my happy place and God knows I need it.

I know it sounds silly to some. A fictional world, my imagining them being there for me. But after 35 books, they are real to me.

I need them.

Today was my first day back at working at the church. I told the pastor not to make it public (My diagnosis) but she could let the prayer team know. I didn’t know how many people were on the prayer team until I got there this morning and so many people came up to me, hugged me. Surprisingly, I kept it together.

I felt their strength and love.

Ya know … and anyone that reads my writing knows this, I am a person of great faith.

God has this.

It was a tough day. Not that I had doubt, but emotionally, I hate that I am making people sad. I am that person that likes to make people laugh and smile. I’m not doing that lately.

I’m gonna change that. I have to change that. For me and for everyone else.

I’m not going anywhere. I just have a fight.

Tomorrow I have an appointment with my PCP. One I haven’t seen in years. (Thanks US healthcare system).

It’s the first of many appointments coming my way.

I may do a video!

FEELING TODAY: I'm okay

MUSIC: Soon you'll Get Better by Taylor Swift

GOAL: Get my ass moving and finish this book