Best of the Breast

 

The countdown is on until I see my oncologist on Tuesday. A slew of situations and things she will say rush through my mind, most of them not good. I find myself googling far too much. This week was a  doozy.

PCP appointments, nurses coming to my home, and that rash that turned into a sore, then turned into a wound after the hospital got done digging in there, now has me going to wound care. Did I mention I have to wear a ridiculous compression bra 23/7. I get one hour off.

More cultures and tests this week. All of the results come in Tuesday.

Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. UG. Like a monster truck commercial.

I will say this …. The doctor and nurses at wound care were the most encouraging and gave me success stories of women who were far worse than me.

What I have is more common than women know. They told me this, and I met a woman in a breast cancer support group (I’ll call her Martha) who posted pictures of her journey with the same thing.

I was glad to see her pictures before and after. Her journey was eight years ago.

I did decide that after all this, after treatments, like Martha I’m cutting off the girls. They were never really big and right now they serve no purpose. I don’t foresee anyone wanting to fondle them in the near future. Nor do I want them to.

I look for inspiration anywhere I can find it.

But I have to stop because I am driving myself nuts. So yesterday I started focusing heavily on creativity.

I finished a chapter in my newest book, whittling away skillfully toward an end. YAY.

I started putting together the compilation called, Broken: Ten Complete Novels of the End of the World.

And I wrote two songs.

Music has always been pretty easy for me, coming up with lyrics and a melody.

Laying down tracks as well. Heck, I won Best Music in three short films.

Working on the tracks to make them perfect and then my kids’ dad, Ron would totally redo it. I can’t really get upset about that, the one song he did, won best music in another film of mine.

Anyhow. I found a bible verses and used them to inspire the lyrics to each song. Used my keyboard to write the melody and rough chords then cheated … I uploaded my rough music and lyrics into a music AI app. Okay, okay, don’t hate me. I’m not releasing the songs. I did it so I could get an idea and give it to my son to play with and he can record. I live in an apartment, it’s not feasible at one in the morning to play music.

My grandson came into my room and yelled at me for using it. But it sounds cool.

And I did write the words and melody. I’m being creative. I’m focusing. More tonight as well.

But first…. time to turn the tater tots.

FEELING: Inspired and Creative
SONG: One of the new ones I wrote
GOALS: Finish the Compiliation