So, here we are.
Funny how writing has been hard for me these past
couple months and now, the first thing that flows is about this stupid health
crisis.
So how did I get here. How in this modern age of medicine
did I, an intelligent woman, let it get to this point?
Oh. Yeah if you’re reading this is not knowing what’s going
on. I have cancer.
Did I see it coming? Yep.
So before I begin the journey of beating this, let’s start
with the journey of my ignorance.
FYI this entire journal journey will include how I am
feeling, what my song is and goals.
Back to my story.
When Ron (My kids dad) was sick and at the end, I found the
tiniest little lumps. Lumps are easy for me to find because I don’t have breast
fat. Well I did when I was heavy.
Anyhow, back story, I have had over the years 5 surgeries on
my left breast and lymph nodes. All BENIGN tumors and cysts, so when this one
popped up, I didn’t think anything about it.
It went away after a few months. Yay. What?
Ok, so it didn’t go away, somehow like a freaking parasite it
burrowed itself into my breast tissue. A few months later again, a rash
appeared. Now I bathe, wash, never really thought it was that bad until well …
it got bad. Then I faced the fact I didn’t have health insurance.
Now everyone is saying that shouldn’t have mattered. But it
did to me. I’m a writer, money and income is not guaranteed and my kids just
lost their dad.
I would get help. I knew I needed to. Finally during
enrollment for open healthcare I was able to get a plan and then it was
activated in February, and wading through Easter, I sought how I could get
help. Nearest appointment was six weeks out. In the meantime, my writing was
replaced with thoughts about this journey. And finally, when my underarm
started to swell, I knew and I called place after place getting in quicker/ But
not fast enough. Damn it I have a battle, but I never shied away from a fight.
Other than hiding my condition I hid it from my kids. I told
them before the appointment.
And the journey began ….. tomorrow, the first step in
getting help.
FEELING TODAY: Confident
MUSIC: Warriors by Imagine Dragons
GOAL: Finish the chapter in my latest book.
Here with you Jackie... i know what it is to be sick and uninsured. But i live in. Country that uses taxes for healthcare ... whilst your land funnels billions into miltary chest beating. I am so sorry for you ...stay strong dear friend. You got this. 🩷✊️💐
ReplyDeleteHi Jackie, I am sorry you had to go through all this...I am a caregiver for my husband, I have been for the past 14 years. He has non-Hodgkins, follicular lymphoma. The kind that never goes away completely. He is going through his third bout of treatment at the moment. So, in a sense I undersant what are you going through. I am here if you want to talk...
ReplyDeleteJackie- I had no idea love, but I'm here- we can all be here for you. You just let us know what you need at this time. Is it a hug, an ear, help with a book, even a meal. Someone can get it figured out for you.
ReplyDeleteJackie, I'm sorry to hear about this and we just met through The Pittsburgh 48 Hour Film Project! You are a true warrior and will fight this with all your power and hopefully beat it!
ReplyDeleteJackie, I'm the narrator of Greek Island. I just want you to know that you are loved by the greatest being in the universe and He has your back. We are praying and confident you will come out on the other end with a good story to tell (and maybe a book of a different genre). Blessings.
ReplyDeleteI am joining the sisterhood of breast cancer patients, my bilateral mastectomy is scheduled for June 23. I am fortunate to have Medicare and supplemental insurance but I am more worried about the 4 to 6 weeks of recovery at this point. But we are both fighters and we will get through this and thrive.
ReplyDeleteGreat song choice. And you are a warrior. You have built a great support system and even though the disease has taken hold, it’s your turn now.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you, keep strong, keep playing music & most of all true & stay honest with your loved ones & most importantly ask for help, sending love to you & your family 💗
ReplyDeleteMy Mother died of colon cancer. I had polyps at two colonoscopies. I delayed next one 12 years. Had some symptoms. And I have insurance. Just procrastinated. Luckily, no polyps at all. I was clear. I rolled the dice and won. The uninsured issue in the USA frustrates me. And angers me. So does the cost of treatment. Those are other issues though
ReplyDeleteYou are on the road. Started your journey. Next step is to determine what you are dealing with. Then the battles begin. Sending you peace, strength and hugs. So many are here for you, Jackie.
Keep in mind that if you have a disability that will last at least a year, you can apply for Social Security. I will post other comments of hopefully helpful info. Grrrr knock it out of the park Jackie~
ReplyDeleteStay strong Jackie, and thank you for sharing your journey.
ReplyDeleteYou're in my thoughts and prayers Jackie.
ReplyDeleteThinking of.you and my prayers include you and your journey x
ReplyDeleteHello Jacqueline. I have read almost all your books. I had to make a list so I wouldn’t reread one. lol I also have Cancer, as of October 2024. Mine isn’t like yours however, mine is in my blood. Follicular Lymphoma. Doctors are keeping an eye on it for now. Keep the faith, and ask for meds when you need them.
ReplyDeleteJackie my heart goes out to you. As a fellow writer in the same genre as you. Our books often are side by side. I like to think of you like the sister i never knew ;) We write often single novels not in a series. We also share a love for film and script writing. I often would come to your blog to hear your thoughts on life. We both make a living from this and so when health things crop up as they have as we age, i feel that. Wishing you all the best in this journey toward health, my friend. Sending positive vibes your way.
ReplyDeleteHello! I love that you are journaling this! I am highly suggesting that you also start a notebook and write down every appointment and what is said; doctor's name, address, phone number; your weight; your medications, dosages, any reactions; how you are feeling; make sure to color code the notebook- pink for names, green for medications, etc. My treatment for breast cancer took over 2 years --- you will forget a lot! Chemo brain is no joke!! You are not alone. You've got this! Don't be afraid to ask for help. Best wishes and sending healing vibes!!!
ReplyDeleteI've been thinking of you non-stop all week. If you need help with the writing/editing/whatever let me know. I know that you are a very productive person and the energy loss and brain fog might get frustrating. I'm here and happy to assist in any way (as you have done for me many times -I'll never forget how you reformatted my books for Amazon back in the day) Just let me know if you need any help. I'll be keeping prayers rolling your way throughout. ❤️
ReplyDeleteGod bless you Jackie...you are a strong woman and I know you will beat this!
ReplyDelete