Sunday, February 10, 2013

Walking Dead Returns .. so do my gripes

Fair warning, there are Spoilers!

It’s pretty much been two months and the wait is over for the return of Walking Dead, Season 3, the second half. During its hiatus I enjoyed Guy versus Rachel Celebrity cook off and I have to say, I have shouted, screamed and cringed a lot more during that show than most of this season’s Walking Dead.
            No, Johnny, no, it’s a hot dog competition. Where’s the hot dog?
            That being said, it’s back, tonight and I’m not wrought with excitement. I’m happy, yeah, but not counting down the hours.
            I think American Horror Story spoiled me. Thirteen weeks spanned decades of time, a tight story, wrapped up and left me on the edge of my seat every Wednesday. It takes three episodes for the cast to cross the street in Walking Dead.
            I blame it on poor writing.
            Blast me if you want, but that’s my thoughts.
            I understand they can’t follow the graphic novel, where’s the surprise. Forgot a lot of people haven’t read them, but in their attempt to stray and stay, they managed to make a lot of us go, ‘hmm, oh my’.
            It drags on. It really does. I care only about two characters. Daryl and Hershel. That’s it. The rest can bite it. No pun intended to our zombies.
            The writers really are scratching.
            To me it’s an attempt to drag out a money maker.
            I see it, onset of the season, a group of writers sitting around. “Okay guys, here’s our story line. Rick finds a prison. Woodbury is established, they fight to the death.”
            Let’s make that last 16 weeks.
            Really? That’s like 3 chapters in a book. That’s at tops, 3 episodes.
            If I were writing it, this season would end with Herschel running Woodbury, Rick losing his mind and thinking he’s Shane, that Mexican family from season one returning and experiments on the Walking Dead.
            Somehow, someway, a helicopter from France would land. After all, according to Jenner, they were the last foot hold in the world. Hell, I would have never killed Shane or TDog. They would have left together and returned in Season 4.
            Anyone notice in the preview how big Baby Judith is. She is hands down bigger than my eight month old granddaughter. And Judith is one week old.
            They’re gonna kill her you know. Not because she dies in the graphic novel, but mainly because the writers have done such a piss poor job of making us care about characters, there’s no one to cry for. Kill the baby for the shock effect. My opinion.
            Ok, so here is my speculation for the second half season opener.

            That little fight scene between Merle and Daryl? Where he kicks his brother and start beating the crap out of him. Fake. Brothers are brothers. They know how to fake fiht, sell it and make it look good. Especially if they are wrestling fans. Which I bet Merle and Daryl were.
            Of course our hero, half baked, Rick, will save the day. Toss some tear gas, get them out.
            Glen will whine about Merle returning to the prison. But I do predict Daryl and Merle will take off.  Leave and be on their own for some fun stuff.
            Andrea will not side with our prison. No way, no how. I think she should take hold of Woodbury and lead them to crush rick. After all, they left her for dead and forgot about her.
            Oh, yeah, Michonne. The character with the most promise and the biggest let down. I think she’ll soften up. Why? Because the writers don’t believe in strong women.  The women, if they aren’t cooking or sewing, or crying. They are being beaten or using sex as a tool.
            That constipation look of Michonne’s, that is written into the script because the writers didn’t have a clue what to do with her. They introduced strength and greatness, realized they did so in a woman and dropped the ball.
            The episode won’t progress much, God, I hope I’m wrong. It’ll end with a face to face with Rick and the Governor.
            I gripe and complain about the Walking Dead, I know. But I’ll watch it and hope that it will eventually be as spectacular as it started out. One can only hope. After all, they have a great outline to follow … the graphic novels. Follow them damn it. I don’t mind seeing something on the screet that I read, they do it all the time with movies.

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