Authors Laying the 'Smackdown' on Other Authors

Amongst lawyers, doctors, teachers and others, the practice of professional courtesy is still astute. However, and sadly, in the world of writing, a small percentage of authors have forgotten that professional courtesy should extend to our craft, as well. It makes me sad.

In this new age of digital publishing and instant success of unknowns, abrasive jealous lashing is common place and not just by unknowns.

We are all well aware of Stephen Kings' slash of Stephanie Meyers, saying ‘She can’t write worth a darn.’ Really, Stephen? What is up with that? If you don’t like her work, say you don’t like her work. Zillion bestselling author or not, who are you to publicly say the woman can’t write? Millions of fans will argue that. What was the point? I’ll tell you, to me and like many others, it was jealousy. She was popular, eating up the charts at a time when he was not.

If that wasn’t the case, it sure looked like it.

Stephanie is not alone. Steve also jacked up James Patterson.

Famous authors dissing other authors at a height of popularity is not uncommon.

Here are some examples

Harold Bloom on J.K. Rowling (2000)

“How to read ‘Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone’? Why, very quickly, to begin with, and perhaps also to make an end. Why read it? Presumably, if you cannot be persuaded to read anything better, Rowling will have to do.”

William Faulkner on Ernest Hemingway

“He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.”

Ernest Hemingway on William Faulkner

“Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?”

Truman Capote on Jack Kerouac

“That’s not writing, that’s typing.”

Elizabeth Bishop on J.D. Salinger

“I HATED [Catcher in the Rye]. It took me days to go through it, gingerly, a page at a time, and blushing with embarrassment for him every ridiculous sentence of the way. How can they let him do it?”

Mark Twain on Jane Austen (1898)

“I haven’t any right to criticize books, and I don’t do it except when I hate them. I often want to criticize Jane Austen, but her books madden me so that I can’t conceal my frenzy from the reader; and therefore I have to stop every time I begin. Every time I read ‘Pride and Prejudice,’ I want to dig her up and hit her over the skull with her own shin-bone.”

(Funny, if you substitute Jane’s name with mine and her book with one of mine, this is very similar to a criticism I received from another author. One should hope we become as famous as these two)

Abusive and or angry critique of a fellow author is not prejudice only to those who have garnished success. Even the little guys get kicked as well.

Many hide behind anonymous posts on boards or reviews. Anyway it’s done, I think as authors, we need to stop and think before we do it. How is this going to benefit us? Is this going to come back and slap us in the face, either by a missed opportunity or a good old dose of Karma.

Before you say, ‘hey, I’m not just an author, but a reader, too, I can dislike a book,’ this is true. You can. I myself have disliked many books. But that’s my personal taste, if there is something so grave that needs attention, then I tell the author privately. I also mix it with praise on what I liked. I don’t take it to the public. Readers outnumber writers and they can handle the job of reviewing and slamming. In fact we write for them.

If you as an author don’t like being ‘smacked down’, don’t do it to someone else. If the book is that bad, readers will call it out. Find a way to tell the author the way you’d like to be told. I know, I know, I have heard it. “I’d rather hear the raw truth.” Good. But wouldn’t you’d rather hear in your email instead of seeing an author post it on facebook?

I firmly believe the readers aren’t sitting around cheering that disrespecting author. In fact, readers see right through it and it angers them. Especially if you jack up their favorite. Readers don’t read your negative opinion and say, “Oh wow, this writer is amazing, she knows how to spot trash.’ No. The readers gonna simply label you a jealous dick.

Stephanie Meyers CAN write worth a darn. She may not be this ultra descriptive writer who spends twenty pages on the inside of a person’s refrigerator but she weaves a good tale that has captivated millions.

Isn’t that what being a writer and storyteller is about? Telling a story that grips your audience. Not everyone is going to love it. In fact some will despise it. But leave the public broadcast of distaste to the readers.

When an author does that to another author, what are they trying to achieve? Stating you simply didn’t like the book, the characters weren’t for you, it seems implausible … that’s cool, but to go on a rant or say ‘he/she can’t write worth a darn’ is just wrong and in my opinion a violation of a the brotherhood on pens.

Aside from the fact you never know, that fellow author that you slam may be the next Stephen King. Also, as said before, Karma with writers is a horrible thing. Publicly say something shitty about another author’s work and before you know it, ten will do it to you. No kidding. Wait for it, it will happen.

If you absolutely feel you must speak your mind, then do it privately. As you know, we as writers get hit enough in the public eye. If you don’t know that or haven’t experienced it yet, oh, boy are you a newbie.

I am so grateful that the writers I have befriended are classy and would never do that to another author publicly. As my mom always said, tell me who your author friends are and I’ll tell you what kind of author you are. Ok, maybe she left out  ‘author’. But that holds true.

If you wanna publicly lay the smack down, instead of the pages of Amazon reviews, take it to the WWE. That’s the only place I know that talking ‘Smack’ about each other is the norm, then again, not without some serious ass whooping.

Hmm, perhaps we need to pit King against Meyer in a smack down write off.

We are the entertainers of tomorrow and today. We craft worlds to take people away. We should have each others' backs instead of stabbing it.

Why You'll Never See My Relationship Status Change From Single

Five years ago this month, my marriage fell apart. I didn’t see it as ‘falling apart’, I thought it was a blip in life. In hindsight, it fell apart. Perhaps when he said, ‘I don’t want to be a married man anymore’, I should have taken that seriously and wouldn’t have been so shocked when he actually left. To be honest, that break up devastated me. So many people said, “This is the best thing that happened to you. You’ll see.”

I thought they were nuts, but they were right. It was the best thing that ever happened to me. I rose from the ashes, and I grew stronger than I ever was. I focused on my writing and family, and though it took a long time, I finally became independent, self sufficient, and to an extent successful in something I love. Plus, I can check my oil. All of that, wouldn’t have been possible with a mate involved. Really, the success and career focus took a lot of selfish time. Time I otherwise would have had to give to a significant other.

So what brings on this super personal blog? An incident of course. A coworker/friend from DJing decided to play matchmaker with me. She introduces me to this guy. Said guy asks me out. Grrr. I don’t date. Really, I don’t, but since the coworker was trying … okay. First we were supposed to meet for drinks, but he had a kid issue come up. I’m cool with that. He then said, “Let me take you out to dinner on Saturday.”  I accept, Saturday we exchange texts on where we should meet and then … then I get a text an hour before hand saying, “I’m not hungry, let’s just meet for drinks.’. Seriously? I don’t like to go out, so don’t get me an ‘out’, and he did. I simply replied, ‘I don’t think so.’ And that was that.

I’ve been single for a while. Granted I met some really great guys early on after the divorce, but I wasn’t ready. After time, I’ll never be ready. I have compiled a list of reasons, maybe they can help you with that person you’re trying to date, or figure out why you are single.

Been there done that – This is pretty cut and dry, I have been married three times and failed three times, I think I got the message. And I hate failing.

Set in my ways – I am a creature of habit, I do the same things the same time every day. I hate change and I don’t like having to change my schedule to accommodate a date, let alone an entire relationship. I stay up late and rely on naps. I like spending time with the babies. I like my writing time. So anything that can’t be worked around those things … like a date .. is out. I’d have to squeeze you in between 8:30 and 12. But that doesn’t happen. They want my time for writing and my babies. I’m not willing to give that up.

Want to be me – a very nice, stable, attractive man recently pursued me. But he envisioned me as I am not. Always saying he’d like to see me dressed up. Not happening. I like my levis and tee shirts. I don’t wear skirts, only light make up. I’m going through perimenopausal, damn it, I hate anything tight on my body.  I did that ‘look good always thing’ screw that. I am who I am.

Deal breakers – I have a mental list you know. Even the best guy ruins it in my book when he does one of my deal breakers. They are, but not limited to: Throws themselves into my writing. Shows up unexpectedly. Tells me how much he likes me. Suggests pizza as a first date, Texts only a ‘K’. Tells me he sleeps in the nude. Brings up sex. Which leads to …

Men think of one thing – Remember the old commercial? How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? Well the new question is, ‘how long does it take for a man to bring up sex?’.  Really, seriously, they bring it up. Out of the blue. They feel obligated to tell you they think of you that way. Or how long it’s been. Dude, I get it. Sexual chemistry is important, but at my age, it’s short lived. I want more to rely on, especially after everything starts flapping in the wind. If I want to talk about sex, I’ll bring it up. Because if you do before I want to hear it … done.

Highs – There is that euphoric feeling of love. The highs of a good time. But in every passionate relationship there are low points. Sorry. Love sucks. And those ‘highs’ you feel when things are great are nowhere near as intense as the ‘lows’ you feel when things go bad. Don’t want to deal with that.

Long distance – I would be really willing to have a relationship with some that lived out of town, like a thousand miles away out of town. Maybe talk a couple days a week, text message to say hello daily and see each other whenever. That type of relationship would not invade my life.

Mercy Me – This goes pretty much with the highs. When you are in a relationship, you have to give your all. In doing that you are at the emotional mercy of someone else. I am not ready to do that. I don’t want someone’s pissy mood to make me pissy.  No thank you.

And finally, Number One …

They Aren’t Frank – In case you don’t know, Frank is the hero in my sci fi series. That series has 20+ books and no end in sight. Frank is my ultimate male, he doesn’t exist in this dimension because I created him. He’s not perfect, he’s hard headed, dumb, not real handsome, but he’s Frank. So unless a 6’3, bulky (Not muscular), dark haired, goatee sporting, low IQ, funny, hard headed guy named Frank steps into my life my life (Yes he should be named Frank), I’m afraid I’ll forever be single.

Seven Things all Writers can Learn from Taylor Swift

You’re probably thinking I have lost it. That I am digging deep for blog material if I can suggest that writers or anyone successful and starting out has a lot to learn from Taylor Swift. She’s twenty-three years old … really, what can be learned.

A lot.

I remember when Taylor first burst on the scene, a sweet teen age girl with loads of talent. So cute, we all just wanted to pinch her cheeks. Now a lot of America, over the age of twenty-one just want to slap those cheeks. The same girl who cried the blues because Tina Fey made fun of her, got on stage at the Grammy’s mocked an ex boyfriend and proceeded to sing the worst song ever written. You may argue that point, but the lyrics say it all, “Never, ever, ever getting back together … like ever.”

Really?

To be a legend in entertainment isn’t just selling. Popularity is fleeting, and while she goes up and down, eventually, Swift will have to leave the limelight to redesign herself. Her actions right now will determine if the buying public will welcome her back with open arms.

In her young life and she is young, she is doing things that can teach us all a lesson. I have compiled a small list. I am applying this to writers, but anyone can heed the Swift advice.

Burning Bridges – Miss Swift is doing a lot of that, especially lately. Her string of relationships that make their way into song lyrics, not to mention her outspoken nature about anyone that criticizes her. She teaches us that you never know. That person you step on or snub today can be tomorrow’s bestselling author. Don’t burn bridges.

You Can’t Let It Define You – What makes you successful today, what makes you tick as a writer, can’t be what defines you forever. You enjoy writing dark subjects, or comedy, eventually, it will get old. You need to grow. Miss Swift broke onto the scene crying about a broken heart and she still is doing it. Same songs different guy. This connects to …

Break the Mold – I know, this is coming from someone who has a 20+ series, but it isn’t all I write. I have penned over a 150 books. Most will never see the light of a Kindle because they suck … but I break the mold. Too many writers write the same thing, the same series, the same characters … only. They Taylor Swift themselves. Branch out, write new things, new subjects. People may not really buy them or read them, but at least you can say you are more than a series, a zombie and vampire writer.

Standards – Hold yourself to standards. This is short and sweet. If you become successful and to the point that people will buy your stuff no matter what, hold yourself to the standards of a good solid story. No ‘Never ever getting back together’ crap. Give every book the love it deserves and the passion your readers deserve. If it ends up sucking at least you really tried.

Take Criticism  - Don’t whine! For heaven’s sake, Taylor Swift is all over the news when someone makes a derogatory comment. I’m not talking about the occasional blip of complaint about a bad review. There are authors who slam reviewers for giving an opinion.  More than a blip, they take it to forums and so forth. Immediately these reviewers are trolls, implants and know nothing. When in actuality, most of them are honest, negative opinions. Deal with it.

Look Back and Be Proud – My daughter said it all when she said, “Swift is gonna be forty and look back at how she acted and be embarrassed’.  That goes with thrashing reviewers, snubbing people. I know I am guilty of not checking my Facebook messages or putting an email in the ‘to be replied’ file and not getting to it in a while. I’m trying, we should all try. So we can look back at how we acted in the beginning in be proud, not embarrassed.

Give back – I totally trashed Swift this entire blog, but I am going to praise her in this final Swift Lesson. For as immature as she acts, as young as she is, Taylor Swift is by far the most generous celebrity. Not only with her money, but her time as well. She volunteers all the time. She gives back. We can all take a lesson from that. If things are going well for us, help someone who is less fortunate. If we are having success in writing, and another writer asks for help, do you best to guide them.

And that’s it. I thank Taylor Swift for all that she has taught us.

Russian Meteor our Extinction Level Event? Don't scoff.

I didn’t do well in school. In fact, I went through most of my life believing that maybe perhaps in some aspects, I wasn’t the brightest bulb in the bunch. Now I’m thinking maybe I was right. Or … maybe I slept through science all those years … or my educators failed me. Combination of everything. Who knows? But, I do know this. On this day I feel massively deceived along with just plain dense.

How am I the only one who missed it? What am I talking about? The extinction of dinosaurs.

Yes, I know they went extinct, Good God, I’m not that dumb but … did you know it took 200,000 years for them to die off after the extinction level event? Yes, it’s true I just found it out.

Kind of reminded me of the time that I found out (At the age of 22) that Adam and Eve were cast out of the garden for having sex. I thought it was an apple all that time. I honestly thought an apple was a forbidden fruit and my grandmother was just asking for it every time she baked an apple pie.

Perhaps it is my infatuation over apocalypse scenarios that had me block out facts. When they said a meteor hit the earth and it caused dinosaurs to go extinct, I believed… the dinosaurs went extinct. Right then and there.

I mean this was reiterated by one of my favorite movies, Armageddon. The opening of the movie is the planet earth, Charlton Heston (I Love him) Voice over saying, “65 million years ago, earth was a lush and fertile planet. But a piece of rock, just six miles wide changed all that.”

Meteor slams into earth, it cascades into a chain of events and the earth is a blazing fireball. What the hell survives that? Apparently,  the dinosaurs … for 200,000 years.

Now, after learning the truth, it all is different in my mind. Before I envisioned the meteor hitting, the fire, the dinosaurs turning to ash. Now I see them running with T-Rex saying, “This way guys, I know a good underground place.’

What the hell? I’m still stumbled on how they survived that fireball impact. Or maybe science is wrong and the meteor just didn’t set the world ablaze like we originally were told.

No wonder it has taken science so long to determined what really wiped out the dinosaurs.  They can’t possibly really know, especially if it took so long.

And the meteor that landed in Mexico was called an extinction level event? Why call it an extinction level event if it isn’t an event that causes an immediate extinction?

Come on, really, under those guidelines anything can be an extinction level event. I think E.L.E, I picture a virus wiping out pretty much everyone in a good month. Or like the sun tossing a huge flame at us. To me, an extinction level happening is something that causes extinction … now.
Not 200,000 years after it happened.

If someone told you, that the meteor that landed in Chebarkul Lake, Russia was man’s extinction level event, would you believe them? No. Especially if they add, ‘It is Man’s Extinction Event, and in 10,000 years man will be done.’

Who cares? I would think man is smarter than the dinosaurs and would certainly figure out something in 10,000 years.

But thinking about it, this simple, bus size meteor that broke windows, injured a thousand people and crashed into an icy lake could indeed be the extinction level trigger. How? It crashed into the lake. Say it hit the floor, the shock of it weakens a fault line. There are fault lines everywhere and an earthquake belt is located on the Kazakhstan border between Russian. So, we have an earthquake. That Earthquake triggers a series that leads to a break in a deep earth Methane gas pocket and causes it to erupt. Um, yeah, if a methane gas pocket sealed deep in earth is breached … watch out. The chain reaction is a killer. Explosion, volcanic eruptions, dust in the atmosphere, tsunamis, ice age. Yikes.

According to Science Today: Methane gas is explosive in atmospheric ratios between 5% and 15% - a wider range than gasoline. Hundreds of billions of cubic feet of methane could burst free in a matter of seconds. The possible detonation and fireball has been referred to as "biblical" in size and destruction - several times larger than the most powerful nuclear weapon ever exploded.

Not to mention any gas released in the air is thick, planes can’t fly through it and they’ll just fall from the sky.

In fact if you think about it, ANY earthquake, especially in the ocean can cause an ELE.  Look into Methane pockets, it’s scary.

We probably already had our extinction level event and just don’t know it. If we did, take heart, you and I will be long gone before the effects of the event reach extinction level. Unless of course, it is a methane gas explosion, then you know, we have weeks.

Is it Really Worth Complaining? Stop before you do.

I’m not real sure how this blog will go over. Not that it will anger people, it just seems that when I don’t  write about celebrities, writing or Walking Dead, my blog stats don’t spike. But if one person who reads this, thinks before they act … well, I have done my job.

 

Admittedly, the original thought for this blog was motivated by self incident. It led me to research and think about complaining. This blog, for example can be a complaint. We all do it. Some more than others,. But at least once during the day you complain. The coffee isn’t hot enough, traffic is bad, prices are high. But it is what we do with the complaint that makes the difference.

 

Complaining relives stress. It stops it from being bottled up inside. Sometimes we do it for attention or even to make ourselves look superior.  But when we go from just being vocal to our coworkers, to taking action, then we not only affect our world, we start affecting the lives of others.

 

Sounds kind of grand scale? I’m not talking a faulty product that needs returned or a meal not meeting standards, I’m talking complaints grounded on human faults. That’s where we need to step back and think before we act.

 

We are human and as such we are controlled by emotions. Sometimes outrage gets the best of us. And it is in those times that we do the most damage. We want just reward for a bad thing, but do we think of the chain of events that follow.

 

Negative without positive doesn’t breed results. People are programmed to remember the negative and experts say it can take up to five positives to negate one negative comment.

 

So when we go from complaining to a friend to writing a complaint, we need to ask why we are doing it. Are we doing it for replacement and reward? Are we doing it to get that one person in the store in trouble? Maybe, we just hope that they’ll change and take a look at how things are done. We don’t mean really any harm, nor want anyone to lose their jobs, but realistically, that’s the outcome.

What we do as people ultimately affects others. I’m not saying if you aren’t happy with something, don’t speak. I’m merely saying, when you do speak up, write or call a company, cool down and watch your phrasing. Again, to reiterate, I am addressing complaints about people.

 

Very easily I could have called McDonald’s and complained about the girl dropping my chocolate milk out the drive thru and then telling me to pull up, get out of the car and get it. It was so ridiculous I found it hysterical. But say I didn’t. Say I was angry and called. What was my gain? Did I really want to get the girl in trouble? Most of us aren’t complaining to get someone in trouble but rather be compensated for a bad experience.

 

Then again, some people may want to get someone in trouble. If that’s the case, we really need to examine what kind of person we are.

 

What if McDonald’s girl is an exceptional employee who had a bad day and the milk experience was a first. What if I called, she was reprimanded and it upset her. Who is to say it didn’t stay on her mind so much that she fails somewhere else in her day. Yells at her child, make a wrong turn, gets in an accident … anything can happen.  All because I couldn’t let it go.

 

I know, I know, sounds kind of hypocritical coming from a woman who wrote a blog to fire a judge on the show Chopped. But it was that blog, that got me thinking.

 

Yes, we want people to atone for bad performance that affects us, but do we want to be the one that pushes the envelope? Bad employees will eventually see their day. They don’t need our written complaints to push them along.

 

So before you write a letter of complaint about a specific person, stop and think. Did the incident affect you so much that you are willing to affect others? Think of the extreme consequences of your actions against what you are truly hoping to gain. Write the letter, tell of the bad experience, but think twice before naming a name of giving employee specifics.

And honestly, if the employee wronged you so badly, treated you so poorly, then speak up during the injustice. Don’t wait until you stew about it and call later. Deal with it on the spot. Trust me, one on one, it works. I had a grocery store employee give me attitude and call me stupid. I called her out right there.. I didn’t tell her manger she called me stupid. I said, “Hey, I’m a customer, and old enough to be your mother, your attitude is unacceptable and out of line.” She didn’t know what to say and though she didn’t apologize I bet she remembers it the next time she wants to flip out on a customer for questioning a price.

 

We all have been complained about and reprimanded. We all know how it feels and how we take it with us, especially if we feel it is unfair. It takes a lot to get rid of that bad feeling. So let’s think twice before we deliver it back at someone. That’s all I’m saying.

Walking Dead Returns .. so do my gripes

Fair warning, there are Spoilers!

It’s pretty much been two months and the wait is over for the return of Walking Dead, Season 3, the second half. During its hiatus I enjoyed Guy versus Rachel Celebrity cook off and I have to say, I have shouted, screamed and cringed a lot more during that show than most of this season’s Walking Dead.

            No, Johnny, no, it’s a hot dog competition. Where’s the hot dog?

            That being said, it’s back, tonight and I’m not wrought with excitement. I’m happy, yeah, but not counting down the hours.

            I think American Horror Story spoiled me. Thirteen weeks spanned decades of time, a tight story, wrapped up and left me on the edge of my seat every Wednesday. It takes three episodes for the cast to cross the street in Walking Dead.

            I blame it on poor writing.

            Blast me if you want, but that’s my thoughts.

            I understand they can’t follow the graphic novel, where’s the surprise. Forgot a lot of people haven’t read them, but in their attempt to stray and stay, they managed to make a lot of us go, ‘hmm, oh my’.

            It drags on. It really does. I care only about two characters. Daryl and Hershel. That’s it. The rest can bite it. No pun intended to our zombies.

            The writers really are scratching.

            To me it’s an attempt to drag out a money maker.

            I see it, onset of the season, a group of writers sitting around. “Okay guys, here’s our story line. Rick finds a prison. Woodbury is established, they fight to the death.”

            Let’s make that last 16 weeks.

            Really? That’s like 3 chapters in a book. That’s at tops, 3 episodes.

            If I were writing it, this season would end with Herschel running Woodbury, Rick losing his mind and thinking he’s Shane, that Mexican family from season one returning and experiments on the Walking Dead.

            Somehow, someway, a helicopter from France would land. After all, according to Jenner, they were the last foot hold in the world. Hell, I would have never killed Shane or TDog. They would have left together and returned in Season 4.

            Anyone notice in the preview how big Baby Judith is. She is hands down bigger than my eight month old granddaughter. And Judith is one week old.

            They’re gonna kill her you know. Not because she dies in the graphic novel, but mainly because the writers have done such a piss poor job of making us care about characters, there’s no one to cry for. Kill the baby for the shock effect. My opinion.

            Ok, so here is my speculation for the second half season opener.

            That little fight scene between Merle and Daryl? Where he kicks his brother and start beating the crap out of him. Fake. Brothers are brothers. They know how to fake fiht, sell it and make it look good. Especially if they are wrestling fans. Which I bet Merle and Daryl were.

            Of course our hero, half baked, Rick, will save the day. Toss some tear gas, get them out.

            Glen will whine about Merle returning to the prison. But I do predict Daryl and Merle will take off.  Leave and be on their own for some fun stuff.

            Andrea will not side with our prison. No way, no how. I think she should take hold of Woodbury and lead them to crush rick. After all, they left her for dead and forgot about her.

            Oh, yeah, Michonne. The character with the most promise and the biggest let down. I think she’ll soften up. Why? Because the writers don’t believe in strong women.  The women, if they aren’t cooking or sewing, or crying. They are being beaten or using sex as a tool.

            That constipation look of Michonne’s, that is written into the script because the writers didn’t have a clue what to do with her. They introduced strength and greatness, realized they did so in a woman and dropped the ball.

            The episode won’t progress much, God, I hope I’m wrong. It’ll end with a face to face with Rick and the Governor.

            I gripe and complain about the Walking Dead, I know. But I’ll watch it and hope that it will eventually be as spectacular as it started out. One can only hope. After all, they have a great outline to follow … the graphic novels. Follow them damn it. I don’t mind seeing something on the screet that I read, they do it all the time with movies.