The Breaking Point of Negative Feedback

I heard it said that negative feedback is better than no feedback, or you need to hear the negative to fix the mistakes. While that is true, for the purpose of this blog, there are two types of negative feedback. Critical and harsh. You can tell someone they suck without using the word suck.

This cherry pie sucked!

This cherry didn’t do it for me.

Both tell the baker he didn’t do a good job on the pie, but while one can make the baker reexamine his recipe, the other can inadvertently make that baker put away his mixing bowl for a long time.

When you put yourself out there, especially as a writer, you have to expect the bad with the good. I know this, I have been doing this a long time. People are going to love your stories, hate your stories, or be indifferent.

You can’t please everyone, and I know that. I love getting positive feedback, emails thanking me for a great story, I mean, who doesn’t. Believe it or not, I don’t mind the critical ones. Often times, I see their point and make the change or mental note.

Critical.

Not Harsh Negative.

There’s a big difference you know and every so often, every couple years, something I write causes a rash of harsh negative emails. Again, not critical, but harsh negative.

For example, things like … (Taken from recent emails)

‘I’ll never read your books again, the errors were horrible.’

‘I wanted to throw my kindle, what a waste.’

‘Did you even graduate eighth grade?’ (Why do I get asked this? It’s happened before)

‘What were you thinking putting out crap like this’

A recent critical comment, the woman said, ‘I really enjoyed the story, there seemed to be far more errors than normal for you, please let me know if I can help.’

If you don’t see the difference, I can’t explain. But I can say this, the impact of the emails makes a difference. One type tells me, ‘Wow, she hasn’t given up on me’, the other makes me question as to why I even bother.

Recently, after a book was released through my publisher, those harsh negative emails started to arrive. All stating multiple errors, but they weren’t just letting me know about them, they were slamming me as a writer. I’ve had this happen with self published books, despite having two or three sets of eyes on the book. Things slip by.

But this … this is relentless and I am not exaggerating. It started as a few here and there after the release. A couple critical, one or two harsh negative and then it took a turn. After a weekend of several a day, suddenly, every single day I am getting no less than five emails. First, balancing out between criticism and negative and then the scales tipped. Never in my career have I ever gotten so many negative, bashing emails a day over one book. The ones not ‘slamming’ became few and far between. It has gotten to the point if I see an email and the subject even slightly talks about ‘The Book’, I don’t even open it. I have probably 50 unread in my inbox. So I apologize if you were emailing about something else and I didn’t reply yet..

Not one. Not a single one is positive. And you know what sucks? I LOVED writing that book, I created a cover from scratch and labored over it. Before you say it’s on the publisher, ask yourself … is it? My name is on that book and my name is also synonymous with self publishing so those who know my work just assume it’s self published. They aren’t blaming a publisher, they’re blaming me.

Maybe I should take it as a good thing that people feel they can reach out to me about this. That I am so approachable they can tell me anything,

There are readers I communicate with regularly that are just ‘letting me know how horrible it was’,. Not the story, the errors, then again, no one cares about this story. Little hint, if a book has been out for a couple months, and it’s that bad, really there’s  no need to let me know, chances are 50 others beat you to the punch.

So here I have a super original story, I freaking loved, sunk to a quicksand world of humiliation. A work I want to be proud of but now that ship has sailed.

For the errors, I blame myself. I didn’t pick up what the editor missed. My eyes read what my mind wrote.

I own it. My readers deserve the best I can give them and I failed them.

I know how frustrating it is to be in the flow of reading only to be halted by an avoidable error. I have reached out to many authors and none have ever experienced this, especially at this volume. Readers leave the negativity in the reviews for them not their inbox. Heck not even I have had it this bad.

This is a phenomenon, even after I was assured the mistakes were corrected the emails not only kept coming but grew in numbers.

The bottom line is, everyone has their breaking point. I’ve reached mine along with a legitimate fear that his could be the downfall of everything I worked so hard for.

So why did I write this blog? Maybe to vent, to be a bit of therapy, but mainly to ask anyone reading this that before you fire off an email of criticism/complaint penned in your frustration, whether it’s a coworker, an author, a business, just pause, breathe, reread before you hit send.

As a consumer, leaving bad reviews are your right, say what you want. But when sending a personal email, just know you, think it through.

Maybe I’m wrong. But I just wanted to put this out there.

Authors Laying the 'Smackdown' on Other Authors

Amongst lawyers, doctors, teachers and others, the practice of professional courtesy is still astute. However, and sadly, in the world of writing, a small percentage of authors have forgotten that professional courtesy should extend to our craft, as well. It makes me sad.

In this new age of digital publishing and instant success of unknowns, abrasive jealous lashing is common place and not just by unknowns.

We are all well aware of Stephen Kings' slash of Stephanie Meyers, saying ‘She can’t write worth a darn.’ Really, Stephen? What is up with that? If you don’t like her work, say you don’t like her work. Zillion bestselling author or not, who are you to publicly say the woman can’t write? Millions of fans will argue that. What was the point? I’ll tell you, to me and like many others, it was jealousy. She was popular, eating up the charts at a time when he was not.

If that wasn’t the case, it sure looked like it.

Stephanie is not alone. Steve also jacked up James Patterson.

Famous authors dissing other authors at a height of popularity is not uncommon.

Here are some examples

Harold Bloom on J.K. Rowling (2000)

“How to read ‘Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone’? Why, very quickly, to begin with, and perhaps also to make an end. Why read it? Presumably, if you cannot be persuaded to read anything better, Rowling will have to do.”

William Faulkner on Ernest Hemingway

“He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.”

Ernest Hemingway on William Faulkner

“Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?”

Truman Capote on Jack Kerouac

“That’s not writing, that’s typing.”

Elizabeth Bishop on J.D. Salinger

“I HATED [Catcher in the Rye]. It took me days to go through it, gingerly, a page at a time, and blushing with embarrassment for him every ridiculous sentence of the way. How can they let him do it?”

Mark Twain on Jane Austen (1898)

“I haven’t any right to criticize books, and I don’t do it except when I hate them. I often want to criticize Jane Austen, but her books madden me so that I can’t conceal my frenzy from the reader; and therefore I have to stop every time I begin. Every time I read ‘Pride and Prejudice,’ I want to dig her up and hit her over the skull with her own shin-bone.”

(Funny, if you substitute Jane’s name with mine and her book with one of mine, this is very similar to a criticism I received from another author. One should hope we become as famous as these two)

Abusive and or angry critique of a fellow author is not prejudice only to those who have garnished success. Even the little guys get kicked as well.

Many hide behind anonymous posts on boards or reviews. Anyway it’s done, I think as authors, we need to stop and think before we do it. How is this going to benefit us? Is this going to come back and slap us in the face, either by a missed opportunity or a good old dose of Karma.

Before you say, ‘hey, I’m not just an author, but a reader, too, I can dislike a book,’ this is true. You can. I myself have disliked many books. But that’s my personal taste, if there is something so grave that needs attention, then I tell the author privately. I also mix it with praise on what I liked. I don’t take it to the public. Readers outnumber writers and they can handle the job of reviewing and slamming. In fact we write for them.

If you as an author don’t like being ‘smacked down’, don’t do it to someone else. If the book is that bad, readers will call it out. Find a way to tell the author the way you’d like to be told. I know, I know, I have heard it. “I’d rather hear the raw truth.” Good. But wouldn’t you’d rather hear in your email instead of seeing an author post it on facebook?

I firmly believe the readers aren’t sitting around cheering that disrespecting author. In fact, readers see right through it and it angers them. Especially if you jack up their favorite. Readers don’t read your negative opinion and say, “Oh wow, this writer is amazing, she knows how to spot trash.’ No. The readers gonna simply label you a jealous dick.

Stephanie Meyers CAN write worth a darn. She may not be this ultra descriptive writer who spends twenty pages on the inside of a person’s refrigerator but she weaves a good tale that has captivated millions.

Isn’t that what being a writer and storyteller is about? Telling a story that grips your audience. Not everyone is going to love it. In fact some will despise it. But leave the public broadcast of distaste to the readers.

When an author does that to another author, what are they trying to achieve? Stating you simply didn’t like the book, the characters weren’t for you, it seems implausible … that’s cool, but to go on a rant or say ‘he/she can’t write worth a darn’ is just wrong and in my opinion a violation of a the brotherhood on pens.

Aside from the fact you never know, that fellow author that you slam may be the next Stephen King. Also, as said before, Karma with writers is a horrible thing. Publicly say something shitty about another author’s work and before you know it, ten will do it to you. No kidding. Wait for it, it will happen.

If you absolutely feel you must speak your mind, then do it privately. As you know, we as writers get hit enough in the public eye. If you don’t know that or haven’t experienced it yet, oh, boy are you a newbie.

I am so grateful that the writers I have befriended are classy and would never do that to another author publicly. As my mom always said, tell me who your author friends are and I’ll tell you what kind of author you are. Ok, maybe she left out  ‘author’. But that holds true.

If you wanna publicly lay the smack down, instead of the pages of Amazon reviews, take it to the WWE. That’s the only place I know that talking ‘Smack’ about each other is the norm, then again, not without some serious ass whooping.

Hmm, perhaps we need to pit King against Meyer in a smack down write off.

We are the entertainers of tomorrow and today. We craft worlds to take people away. We should have each others' backs instead of stabbing it.

Seven Things all Writers can Learn from Taylor Swift

You’re probably thinking I have lost it. That I am digging deep for blog material if I can suggest that writers or anyone successful and starting out has a lot to learn from Taylor Swift. She’s twenty-three years old … really, what can be learned.

A lot.

I remember when Taylor first burst on the scene, a sweet teen age girl with loads of talent. So cute, we all just wanted to pinch her cheeks. Now a lot of America, over the age of twenty-one just want to slap those cheeks. The same girl who cried the blues because Tina Fey made fun of her, got on stage at the Grammy’s mocked an ex boyfriend and proceeded to sing the worst song ever written. You may argue that point, but the lyrics say it all, “Never, ever, ever getting back together … like ever.”

Really?

To be a legend in entertainment isn’t just selling. Popularity is fleeting, and while she goes up and down, eventually, Swift will have to leave the limelight to redesign herself. Her actions right now will determine if the buying public will welcome her back with open arms.

In her young life and she is young, she is doing things that can teach us all a lesson. I have compiled a small list. I am applying this to writers, but anyone can heed the Swift advice.

Burning Bridges – Miss Swift is doing a lot of that, especially lately. Her string of relationships that make their way into song lyrics, not to mention her outspoken nature about anyone that criticizes her. She teaches us that you never know. That person you step on or snub today can be tomorrow’s bestselling author. Don’t burn bridges.

You Can’t Let It Define You – What makes you successful today, what makes you tick as a writer, can’t be what defines you forever. You enjoy writing dark subjects, or comedy, eventually, it will get old. You need to grow. Miss Swift broke onto the scene crying about a broken heart and she still is doing it. Same songs different guy. This connects to …

Break the Mold – I know, this is coming from someone who has a 20+ series, but it isn’t all I write. I have penned over a 150 books. Most will never see the light of a Kindle because they suck … but I break the mold. Too many writers write the same thing, the same series, the same characters … only. They Taylor Swift themselves. Branch out, write new things, new subjects. People may not really buy them or read them, but at least you can say you are more than a series, a zombie and vampire writer.

Standards – Hold yourself to standards. This is short and sweet. If you become successful and to the point that people will buy your stuff no matter what, hold yourself to the standards of a good solid story. No ‘Never ever getting back together’ crap. Give every book the love it deserves and the passion your readers deserve. If it ends up sucking at least you really tried.

Take Criticism  - Don’t whine! For heaven’s sake, Taylor Swift is all over the news when someone makes a derogatory comment. I’m not talking about the occasional blip of complaint about a bad review. There are authors who slam reviewers for giving an opinion.  More than a blip, they take it to forums and so forth. Immediately these reviewers are trolls, implants and know nothing. When in actuality, most of them are honest, negative opinions. Deal with it.

Look Back and Be Proud – My daughter said it all when she said, “Swift is gonna be forty and look back at how she acted and be embarrassed’.  That goes with thrashing reviewers, snubbing people. I know I am guilty of not checking my Facebook messages or putting an email in the ‘to be replied’ file and not getting to it in a while. I’m trying, we should all try. So we can look back at how we acted in the beginning in be proud, not embarrassed.

Give back – I totally trashed Swift this entire blog, but I am going to praise her in this final Swift Lesson. For as immature as she acts, as young as she is, Taylor Swift is by far the most generous celebrity. Not only with her money, but her time as well. She volunteers all the time. She gives back. We can all take a lesson from that. If things are going well for us, help someone who is less fortunate. If we are having success in writing, and another writer asks for help, do you best to guide them.

And that’s it. I thank Taylor Swift for all that she has taught us.