Thursday, December 29, 2011

Zombie Apocalypse

In preparing for the apocalypse, I really want to touch upon every scenario imaginable. You know, so you’re mentally ready as well.  So, you’ll be seeing a lot of these, ‘wow this could be how the world ends’ blogs.
To kick off the ‘Wow, this could be how the world end’ blogs, I will start with the ever popular and frequent dinner conversation topic at my house … zombies.
Walking dead, undead, zombies, whatever you prefer to call them, these pesky flesh eating monsters can be a source of the world’s end.
I myself have had three encounters with zombies. Well, ok, one was a drunk woman, the other was confirmed not to be a zombie, just some guy whose glass eye popped out, the other is still up in the air.
It was in between marriages and I was dating a guy who, well, was about 50 watts short of a 75 watt bulb. I was on my way home from DJing and on the phone with ‘Not so Bright guy’. At a red light, I saw some guy, staggering on the street. I told the not-bright, “Wow, this is scary, I think I see a zombie. This guy is just staggering.”
“It’s 3 in the morning,” NSB guy said, “Maybe he’s drunk.”
Just as I was about to say, ‘Maybe’.  BAM, this guys slams, hands first into my car window. He’s moaning something, mouth gnawing, lips bleeding. I scream bloody murder, jump a foot in the air, drop the phone and hit the gas, taking off.
Well the phone broke and was on the floor. I didn’t care. More than likely this guy was beat up, in trouble and I just abandoned him. Not on purpose, I thought he was the undead. I get home and the police are at my house. Here, the not-so-bright boyfriend, when he couldn’t get a hold of me, had called them to tell them I was attacked by a zombie on Rt 51.
Needless to say I was fine and to save myself any embarrassment, I pretended I didn’t know what he was talking about. I think the not so bright former boyfriend got fined or something, for prank calling not sure.
Anyhow, my point is. Even I, Miss Apocalypse, ready for a zombie attack, was taken aback by the presence of this gnawing bloody non verbal man banging on my window. It is stupidity like that, the shock value that indeed makes us vulnerable. We get scared, we get stupid, we get bit, we turn.
With the fictional knowledge of zombies in the back of our mind, really something like a pale face, stumbling person shouldn’t scare us or make us dumb. Hence, really, they shouldn’t cause the apocalypse. But, realistically, will we immediately think ‘zombie’? Will we not try to help another in need? Me, I already proved to myself to think anyone staggering is undead and I run like hell. But I kinda think I may be the exception not the rule. Most people won’t think like that. They’ll see a bloody face and instinctively try to help, then they’ll get bit. They’ll turn, infect another good Samaritan only trying to do a good dead and before we know it, we’re over run.
So, how do we prepare and counter the attack?
That’s another blog.


  1. I totally know where you are coming from there. We saw someone walking down the road one day in the middle of the afternoon staggering. Matt says "I sure hope to god that isn't a zombie". We never did find out if it was. Now some could say that he had a physical handicap, but we didn't stop to find out fact from fiction.

    Okay Matt is surely going to hell for saying that and I'm following along just for laughing at it when he said it. It was soooo wrong but it caught me so off guard when he said it.

  2. If you need your ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend to come crawling back to you on their knees (even if they're dating somebody else now) you need to watch this video
    right away...

    (VIDEO) Why your ex will NEVER get back...