Ug ... When You're sick, You're sick

It finally got me down.

Physically I mean.

Sunday morning, I got up. I was fine, it just takes me an hour to feel motivated. I went to work at the church. Went to Starbucks, did my Walmart Grocery order and was fine, I wasn’t hungry, I did force some soup, then I took a nap.

That evening about 7 pm, something was off. Sniffing alcohol wipes didn’t help and I wasn’t feeling well enough to drive to get a frozen coke. Which by the way really do help me.

Around 9ish, I am at my computer and a wave of nausea hit me like I hadn’t had yet.

Next thing I know I am in the bathroom, sitting on a little pink stepping stool and embracing the porcelain throne as if it was a long lost friend.

I felt so sick. I didn’t want to take the Compazine because it makes me tired, I have this fear of vomiting in my sleep. So I held off. I had one Zofran and took it around 11. It worked. Didn’t make me tired. I still wasn’t very hungry, but I ate some soup.

They called in a prescription for me.

How do I feel now twenty-four hours later. Good. Much better. Even different.

A friend asked me if I could feel the chemo in my body. After a brief pause, I answered yes. Because there’s a feeling, an emptiness, almost hollow feeling, a vulnerability, that courses through your veins. It takes strength from you but you know that strength is working elsewhere in the body.

A mixture of pre-stage jitters and hunger.

Sort of like the body is short staffed at a restaurant because all the really strong parts are working elsewhere.

It’s only been a week and I am still figuring this out. Again, hating to beat a dead horse, that CT with oral contrast the day before my first infusion didn’t help.

I am glad I was able to work all week, that I pushed through.

I really, really hope I reached a turning point. It’s horrible knowing you feel good and waiting for the shoe to drop.  It’s coming. It’s coming. It’s here, no matter how mentally strong I was, it caught me.

But as I told my son, if it was the worst day of the cycle, I did pretty darned good.

I’m learning what to do. It’s all new.

I just know I have to take it one step at a time. One day at a time.

Anyone watch the new Little House on the Prairie yet? I’m thinking of watching that. Also, if you comment, no need to sign in, just put your name or initials in the comments unless you want to remain anonymous.