Talk the Talk

 

I went out today with my friend, Terri. She had things on her mind for me and we visited thrift stores. She knows how much I love the pool but at this point just am not allowed out there without protection, so we went shopping for some things, then went to lunch.

It was a good day.

I listened to her bitch about things and, honestly I loved it.

I also realized today I need to stop the car cancer talk. Not for me but for my daughter. Yes, I know I hid my health from them, carrying it myself but once the truth was out, it was all I talked about. When I picked my daughter up to take her to work today, I said, “I have been dealing with drama. This morning.” When I told her it was filmmaker drama, I saw the twinkle in her eye. Almost as if she was glad to not have to hear cancer talk.

I know in my heart my daughter doesn’t care what I talk about. But for me I need to find something to take the pressure off my kids.

Speaking of pressure and Terri.

Her ex has been dealing with a cancer journey of his own. He reached out to me and really wants to be there.

I told him I was going to have an appointment with one of the oncologists in the practice to get my medical marijuana card.

Now let’s establish, even though I hung out with that crowd, I wasn’t a drug person. It never interested me. But hey why not now? Right?

Terri shows up to pick me up and as I am coming down my apartment steps she is walking up.

Whispering as if the world can hear us, she hands me this small thing and says, “Hide this in your apartment. Go now.”

It was a ‘marijuana pen’ from her ex. A gift until I get what I need. How sweet was that? What made it funny was Terri was scared having it. As if the cops would zone in on her.

I told my son about it, he was like “Be careful. I have one.”

What the heck does that mean?

It was a good day.

Over the last 24 hours a lot of friends came out of the woodwork and were there to help.

I hope they all know I appreciate it. I told them, but I hope they know I meant it.

I have one week. One week free of doctor’s appointments, test, nurses and so forth. One week before everything comes down on me. More tests. The port, and finally treatment.

From the movie, ‘Greatest showman’ and song.

I am brave, I am bruised

I am who I'm meant to be, this is me.

Until tomorrow.

 

FEELING TODAY: Strong

MUSIC: This is me

GOAL: Enjoy the week!.