Rough Week

 

I know. I know. I make it look easy. Actually I don’t. Sometimes I feel like a big baby. Constantly complaining, making my way to the couch because some days, sitting on my reclining couch is the only thing that makes me feel better.

Week two sucks. Even though my daughter insists I can’t really come up with an average until I had four treatments, I can pretty much say with assurance, week two sucks.

Week one is when I get treatment. Usually I am good, a bit hyped from steroids. But once they wear off, the danger zone begins.

This cycle I took preemptive anti nausea, It really helped to keep it away, it didn’t help increase my appetite though.

 I thought I was doing better, then day eight, start of week two, despite meds, my energy drained and along came the queasiness,

Now I’m not sick 24/7. It comes in waves and usually lasts hours. The previous two cycles I got hit in the evening. Now it’s hitting me in the afternoon, by four pm, I am struggling.

I know my lack of food is a big part of the problem. It’s easier to say, ‘try to eat’ than it is to eat. I am living off ritz crackers, applesauce, pudding and broth, while getting calories from sucking on mints and ginger chews.

Yesterday was a good day, I mean I felt really good and ate. But today ….

I keep telling myself I am coming out of the second week It will get better.

But I wanted to explain why there hasn’t been a blog this week. I decided that when my body was feeling like it was against a wall, I was going to listen to it and relax.

It’s not just the chemo fighting the disease my body is hard at work and I need to remember that.

I am trying to stay positive and for the most part I think I am. I mean, I still get up and go out for Starbucks and errands, I haven’t changed my daily routine. Sometimes that routine just wears me out.

I hate complaining. I also have to accept my life has totally changed and it’s a roller coaster now.