Take a bite ...

It is scary how good I felt today. I can’t explain that.

I don’t know if it’s because I was feeling so bad or I just feel really good.

And I ate!

A few months ago, before all this cancer stuff, I was at Heisler’s Market (A small mom and poo grocer with an incredible deli) and they had taste testing day. They gave samples of this sandwich, which was amazing.

A week or so later, I went to the store and asked the guy what was on the sandwich and he helped me get everything I needed.

Today I felt the need for this sandwich, went to the market, got the Deli Air fryer Turkey, Wisconsin cheddar, red onion, boors head honey mustard and the store’s everything bagel sour dough bread. I made the sandwich, topped it with lettuce and tomato and as a side has their homemade cucumber salad.

I ate every bite. I was stuffed. Couldn’t move. But didn’t get sick. Maybe that is why I feel so good. Food will do that to you.

I went to my son’s show tonight, wore my cap and pixie wiglet. It worked but got so itchy It was an emotional night. There was a span of time, a few years that my son was hard to handle.

It broke my heart to watch him go down that path but despite how much I tried, begged, prayed, and cried, he had to find his way out. It was a very hard road. Those who know me know that.

I joined a support group during that time and all the mothers listened to a song called, ‘Hate me’. I started listening to it because it gave me hope that one day my son would be like the guy who wrote that song for his own mother. Free of the demons. That one day I would stop worrying that the ‘phone call’ would come.

He knew I listened to it.

Tonight, years later, my son sang me that song. With all I am going through, I believe it was his way of saying, “Mom, you can stop worrying.”

He’s got a wonderful woman in his life, four years ago he got full and sole custody of his daughter. I’m proud of him.

I’m proud of all my kids, they do so much for me. I feel bad for leaning on them so much right now. A part of me believes that wouldn’t want it any other way.

Okay … so tomorrow is the one and done laser zap. I’ll take some pictures. If you think of it, I would really appreciate your thoughts and prayers.

Off to eat. It feels good to have an appetite again.