The Post 48HFP Funky Blog

I’m in a funk, and as a writer the best way for me to get over it is to write it out. So here I am. It’s been a while since I stepped on a ranting soapbox, so here I go.

Maybe I’m in a horrible place because I still am not recovered from lack of sleep, or the fact that my right shoulder is in so much pain from being in one position for eight hours while I removed multitudes of clicks, clips, and blips in an audio track. Maybe it’s a combination of everything.

Bottom line is … I failed. I failed as a writer, filmmaker and team leader. Most of all, I failed myself.

It was the second time in my decade and a half of 48 HFP that I woke up the next day asking myself, what was I thinking? I’ll tell you what it was. I was thinking of making my team happy. Trying to please everyone. Truth is you can’t please everyone especially when in a 48 hour film competition.

The last time it happened, our team was heckled and booed in shame. It was then, as well, I didn’t follow my gut.

We made the wrong film that year. We made the wrong film this weekend.

Period. Not that the film this year is bad, it’s not, it’s just not what it should be. And that’s disappointing.

Before ten pm I had written two comedic scripts. Neither idea was met with overwhelming enthusiasm. I understand they probably didn’t think the ideas were funny, but any filmmaker knows, funny doesn’t translate well on paper. It can’t show the shots, or expressions.

If I’m being honest I wasn’t thrilled about ANY idea I came up with, but I am blessed with a  knack that once on set I can make anything funny.

In previous years no one saw the script until I sent it out, nor did they know my ideas. I should have said what I have said in previous years, “This is what we are doing. I understand you don’t like it or feel it, but can you bring the performance, if not … I’ll get someone else.”

Instead, I wrote a third script. A serious theme. I know that’s what they wanted. But newsflash, I do comedy best. Funny books, funny movies. I don’t do serious well. Last year was a fluke.

The story I wrote was good, but it needed more time and attention than a 48 hour shoot can give.

Maybe I should have offered up those other two scripts to another team. They were done before I bet anyone else had written anything.

But okay, we’re doing 'serious'. Everyone was happy. That was sign one.

Sign two … we got a very late start because of traffic and the loud landscapers. It then took 35 minutes to set a camera (Wasn’t mine), and I couldn’t get the first shot I wanted because the area was too narrow for a tripod, actors, the camera man and boom person. The black magic was  far too heavy and big to be handheld.

Right there, when 90 minutes post start time had passed and I hadn’t called ‘action’, I should have scrapped it and did comedy.

Lighten the mood. But we trudged ahead. Each change of scene requiring yet another 35 minute delay to set the camera. Unknown to my team (Now they do) I timed it. Three hours and thirty-four minutes were spent adjusting camera settings.

Ya know … many make fun of my Canons G30s, both of which east cost me over 1200 brand new. But never once have they taken 35 minutes to set up, never once were they too big or heavy to get the craziest shot, and never once did they deliver a bad, blurry or dark shot. If the shot was bad it was on me.

This year though ….Although EVERYONE worked hard, if it hadn’t been for the superior performance of my cast, I probably wouldn’t have submitted the film.

It was plagued with eighty percent useless footage and audio that … hell, I don’t know what happened.

I blame myself for everything technical.

I should have taken the headphones and listened to the audio.  I should have trusted my eyes instead of the camera’s display, I should have double checked and triple checked the camera person after I yelled ‘action’. It’s not the cameraman or the audio person's fault. It was me.

I’m the team leader.

See, that’s issue with it.

A leader is supposed to consider what’s best to represent the team, not always what makes everyone happy.

If the president’s administration convinces to make a decision and it turns out great, then the entire administration is smiled upon. But if the decision turns out bad, everyone blames the president, because ultimately it’s his final decision.

Same goes with team film making.

If I relent to the wishes of a team member and it turns out good, then the team looks brilliant. If I relent and the project falls … no one remembers the team players, they look at the leader and say ‘what was she thinking’

And the cast and crew will watch it and be polite, then say, “well … maybe if this or that …”

Whatever.

Again, let me reiterate, the CAST saved the film. I can watch the film a hundred times, they can watch it a hundred times, it won’t make it any better.

They worked hard and they are given something far less than they expected.

And to be honest, I really don’t want to hear about the mistakes in the film. I wanted them to have something they could be proud of not embarrassed by.

I’m tired, I lost three days or writing and I am pissed at myself for not standing my ground and following my gut and doing what I as a filmmaker do best.

I don’t do this for awards, I do this to entertain. I don’t do this for others to acknowledge me as a filmmaker and say ‘wow, what a brilliant emotional film.’ I wanna hear, “Oh my god, I couldn’t stop laughing.’

That is an award to me and NEVER have I felt this way after turning in a funny movie, production mistakes or not.

Granted I will pick myself up and make another movie. A funny one. We will laugh during production and post. It may not look like Breathe did, but I can promise …. People will smile. They’ll laugh and in this day and age that is so important.

For now, I step off my soapbox, tuck away this year’s 48 as yet, another learning experience, I thought I was done having at this point in my career.