Thursday, March 8, 2018

Baking with Ease ... not

We all have it. Well, some of us. That deep down desire to create something edible and have everyone that tries it, moan in delight with every single bite. Now, I write novels, songs, make movies and I’m actually a pretty good cook. Anything and everything pasta … I got it. Soups, salads, you name it. I can create anything from scratch, give the best Chopped TV show champs a run for their money and have folks clamoring for a third or fourth helping of my chili. Yet … yet .. mind you, give me a dessert to make … I crumble faster than any cake I can make. I don’t get it. I don’t. I mean why is baking so damned hard. I will follow a recipe to the letter and still end up with … something … something so horrible my dog runs.

So can someone please tell me what I am doing wrong? Since I moved into the new house with the huge kitchen, I have really wanted to bake. But desire doesn’t equal talent. Take my latest endeavor. I was, was mind you convinced I could make a kick butt cross-shaped cake for my granddaughter’s christening.

I had to practice first.

I was in a creative culinary mood. I took that pound of ground beef and made philly cheese baked sliders on sweet rolls with homemade ramen noodles. At the store I got everything I needed to make that cake from scratch, icing and all. I found this great recipe with awesome reviews, my sister gave me her no fail icing recipe. This is the recipe I used. FLUFFY MOIST CAKE

Line by line, word by word I followed the recipe. It said 'bake 30 minutes', but at 30 minutes it looked uncooked. 45 minutes later the edges were crisp and I took it out.
It not only flattened it sunk deep in the middle.

As soon as it cold enough to remove, it came from the pan with ease then simply … crumbled.

I tried, I mean really tried, through tears of laughter to make it look presentable, but that wasn’t happening.

“Maybe it just looks bad,” my daughter said. “I bet it’s great.”
Hmmm.
Do I cut a crumbling serving for her and I.
Um, it was thick, too sweet and so dense, a small bite was caught in my esophagus and it took two glasses of milk to get it down.

The icing was good.

I just can’t figure out what I am doing wrong. This isn’t the first cake I failed making from scratch, but after looking at the picture, I think it will be my last.


As for my granddaughter’s Christening cake … I have the number of the local bakery.